Fetus Apocalypse

Flash Fiction By Dan Morey

The first time a fetus burst out of its mother’s womb, Americans were amused. The video went viral and the late-night comedians had a field day with Alien jokes. The fetus was malformed and gory, but so small and vulnerable that everyone fell in love with it.

The second time a fetus burst out of its mother’s womb, Americans were amazed. This fetus was very precocious. It did a tap dance on Little Big Shots and got its own reality show (Meet the Fetus) with transgender superstar Caitlyn Jenner.

The fiftieth time a fetus burst out of its mother’s womb, Americans were concerned. They wanted to know why this was happening in such a diversity of places. First Oklahoma, then California. Now Virginia and forty-seven other states. The fetuses were getting pushy, too, groping babysitters and demanding gold potties and cashmere diapers. “I’d like to know where they get their sense of entitlement,” said a commentator.

The five-thousandth time a fetus burst out of its mother’s womb, Americans knew they were in trouble. The fetuses banded together and began dismantling governments in every state. Though the military fought back, the fetuses were virtually indestructible, immune even to nuclear attack. When an angry fetus devoured the President, the United States had no choice but to surrender. Shortly after the American capitulation, a fetus burst out of its mother’s womb in Austria…


Dan Morey is a freelance writer in Pennsylvania. He’s worked as a book critic, nightlife columnist, travel correspondent and outdoor journalist. His writing has appeared in Hobart, Cleaver Magazine, McSweeney’s Quarterly and others. He was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2017. Find him at danmorey.weebly.com.
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